Over a Century of Bad Chicago Cubs Baseball


Below is a collection of Cubs quotes we’ve found over the years. If you have one to add to our collection please contact us and send it!

“It is tempting to say that, ultimately, what the Cubs accomplished this postseason was nothing more than giving every White Sox fan in the world the easiest Halloween costume they’ll ever have: green turtleneck, black sweatshirt, Cubs hat, headphones, Coke-bottle glasses.”

Phil Arvia, Daily Southtown: 10/16/03

 “It’s hard to put your finger on it. You have to have a dullness of mind and spirit to play here. I went through pyschoanalysis and that helped me deal with my Cubness.”
Jim Brosnan, former Cubs pitcher:

“Noise pollution can’t be that much of a problem. There’s nothing to cheer about.”
State rep. John F. Dunn, arguing for the installation of lights at Wrigley Field

“If I managed the Cubs, I’d be an alcoholic.”
Whitey Herzog

“The only bad thing about being released by the Cubs is that they made me keep my season tickets.”
Ken Rietz, ex-Cub third baseman

“There’s nothing wrong with this team that more pitching, more fielding and more hitting couldn’t help.”
Bill Buckner

“You get tired of looking at garbage in your own backyard.”
Cubs manager Lee Elia in 1983 about why the Cubs got rid of so many players. Elia was fired later that same season.

“One thing you learn as a Cubs fan: When you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.”
Joe Garagiola

“The Chicago Cubs are like Rush Street–a lot of singles, but no action.”
Joe Garagiola

“If they blew up Wrigley tomorrow, it wouldn’t bother me at all. That ivy is nasty, the infield grass is waist high, and they definitely have the most vulgar fans.”

  • Lance Berkman outfielder for Houston Astros

Ozzie Guillen May 20, 2005

While manager Dusty Baker and most Cubs players interviewed had no problem with A.J. Pierzynski’s collision with Michael Barrett, rookie left-hander Rich Hill called it “gutless” and “pathetic.”

“I think it was pretty gutless on their part; him hitting Michael when he didn’t even have the ball,” Hill said. “That’s not how you play the game. If he had the ball and he hits him, that’s fine, that’s how you play it. But you don’t go around just running over catchers. What if he injured him and he didn’t have the ball? That’s not the way you play the game.  It was pathetic.”

Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was livid when he heard Hill’s comment.

“Tell that Triple-A [bleep] to shut the [bleep] up,” Guillen said. “Tell him to start throwing some strikes or he’s going to get Dusty fired.”

“**** the Cubs”

  • Ozzie Guillen 2005

The Wrigleyville23 blog had a funny little article about Soriano and his usage of the word ‘ball’. Check out this quote.

“That was a real test,” Soriano said of the play. “He didn’t call the ball, I didn’t call the ball, but I saw him close to the ball and I let him get the ball.”


March 2, 2007